Boundaries: The Beauty of Saying No and Making Space
As a mama I have about a quarter of the time I used to have. And it’s made me so much more clear on what I need in that time. Having a busy social life isn’t super high on my list of needs these days.
What is? Taking time to write, to be outside, to connect wholeheartedly when I’m with someone, to nap when I can, to breathe deeply, to spend time on my yoga mat, to dream and scheme about the future with my partner.
When I was younger I used to feel that I had two personalities - quiet and inwardly connected me and super social and “will do anything for a laugh” me. I could never see how these two parts of me could coexist. So I ignored my more introverted self and used booze and really any distraction as a way to ignore my boundaries and personal needs.
I love what Alex Elle says about boundaries : Boundaries and barriers are not synonymous. Boundaries leave room for growth, adjusting, shifting, and learning. Barriers prevent, keep out, insinuate indestructibility, and aren't easy to move through.
As a recovering people pleaser I know how hard it can be to ask for what you need. Then to follow through and make it happen. To let people and things go that no longer serve you. But it’s the most necessary work you can do. There’s no reason to be ashamed of your nature or your needs or the season you are in. It’s all unfolding as it should.