From Darkness to Light

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When my husband and I first began our journey to become foster parents it was all we could talk about. We learned about the numbers of children in foster care (438,000 in the United States and 28,000 in Los Angeles county alone). We learned about trauma and drug exposure and services and adoption. We talked about foster care a lot and we found a lot of people who were more than willing to learn and many who wanted to help.

A few months ago, after dozens of painful ups and downs, I started to bail on foster care. I was angry. I felt powerless. And honestly I got really depressed. I stopped having those conversations because I didn’t know what to say. You know that old adage “If you don’t have anything to say don’t say anything at all?” Yeah. It was a bit like that. And you know what happened? I felt awful. I felt more depressed. I wasn’t looking for the light workers or spending time with the people doing the work.

I dove deep into my heart and my thoughts and said ENOUGH. This isn’t about you. This is about the kids and you can do this. You’re meant for it. 

I’m a bit embarrassed I went so dark, that I got so scared, that I was thinking about my pain rather than these thousands of kids. But this is being human and what we must face if we are going to continue fighting the good fight.

There is no safety in hiding, in pretending that what’s happening in our country isn’t affecting you and that you aren’t somehow responsible for it. What does await you, however, is transformation and heart opening beyond your wildest dreams. Put yourself on the line. We must. And you’ll inspire others to do the same.

Mary Beth LaRueComment