I used to have a lot of free time.
This was completely lost one me of course. I cringe now thinking of the many, many times I complained about travel or my to-do list. The irony is that my life is much more "full" these days but I'm also way more grateful and fulfilled.
Before Baby A came I took the month of November to ground in my rituals. I remember saying to my best friend that I was going to meditate every single day and not drink coffee so that I continued that when our little kiddo arrived from foster care. “Sounds good,” she said. I have no doubt there was a major eyebrow raise on the other end of the phone.
Baby A came, seven days old and so much younger we expected. Just like that my morning rituals flew out the window. For a few months there I could hardly differentiate morning from mid-day. "Groundhogs day" my husband would call it, pulling us out the door for a midday walk.
It has taken several months to recalibrate, to meet myself where I'm at. Between sleep deprivation and living with this high level of uncertainty, I wasn’t exactly feeling like myself, (In fact I taught a yoga class about five weeks in and taught the same side three times in a row.. Microphone and all. My friend Allyson finally pulled me aside and said, “Are you okay!?" Ah, to be human..)
And now about seven months into mamahood and a very new version of myself I’m remembering what’s absolutely imperative, and non-negotiable, for my self care. Here's what is feeling like nourishment.
Less Phone: I use an app called Freedom. Ironic that I'd use an app to cut my phone time but it has helped so much. Every night my phone goes on "lock mode" at 8 pm and doesn't unlock until 7 am. I can text or take phone calls in an emergency but I can't look at apps, web browser, etc. It's been beyond helpful and you truly can't unlock it so it helps if you're like me and your willpower in the phone department is ... lacking.
Meditation: I’m working with an amazing life coach and she has me committed to meditating every single day. Today is Day 39 and I sit every morning, sometimes again in the afternoon as well. I want to do this for the rest of my life. Whether I'm in complete silence or Baby A is crawling all over me I sit. It's a non-negotiable now and has created space for me to feel much clearer, more trusting and "held."
Movement: I'm finally getting back into a movement practice. I try to work out 3-4 days a week whether that's a long hike, a sweaty yoga practice, Pilates, spin, etc. It's been awhile and it feels so good to be back in my body and feel some endorphins.
Reading: I recently got a library card and downloaded the app "Libby" on my iPad. Currently loving YA and mystery novels. Send any rec's my way!
Coffee Shop Days: Every Monday I pack up my laptop, my headphones and my English bulldog Rosy and we head to a coffee shop to sit outside and get a whole lotta work done. I spend a good amount of time writing and scribbling and getting clear on my intention for the week. Giving myself Mondays to ease into the week has been so rewarding and something I truly look forward to.
What are your favorite rituals? What's feeling good to you as of late?